When I first got to BYU I thought that it would be easy to date a lot and get to know quite a few people. I soon learned that dating a lot within your ward was not common practice. There are quite a few girls from past wards that I would have liked to have asked out. I would have if I had found the opportunity to. Since I'm not very social in large groups and a lot of people here aren't willing to take the chance to really get to know you, those opportunities don't come up very often. I know everyone is different and most girls feel like they have to say yes on the first date. I'd rather have them say no if they really didn't want to. The real reason it's the guys responsibility to ask first is because we don't have feelings. I can take rejection and move on without being devastated. Well we do have some feelings, but to a much lesser degree since they originate in a different part of the brain that doesn't interfere with rational thought. I know I'm going to get in trouble for saying that, but it's what I learned when Carla Heesch spoke in my Ethics and Computers in Society class. I learned a lot of other more important things from her about equality in the workplace and what the most important priorities in a career should be which deserves to be mentioned, but that main difference that she pointed out between the two genders stuck with me for some reason. I realize that men and women do have different needs and different ways of seeing things. Understanding more about those differences I'm sure would help me have better dating and everyday relationships.
I like going out to events or getting something to eat occasionally on weekends and it's always good to have female company. A few dates shouldn't be the big deal that a lot of people make it out to be. I've always thought it was best to date a lot of people without getting attached until you find someone you enjoy spending time with. I don't know why dating has to be so difficult a lot of the time. It seems like it's just going to be that way no matter what I do.
2 comments:
The first part of your post is one of my biggest pet peeves, why can't girls just tell you how they really feel at first (tactfully) and not lead you on? They feel like they don't want to hurt your feelings, but I find it very insulting that they can't be honest.
"Well we do have some feelings, but to a much lesser degree since they originate in a different part of the brain that doesn't interfere with rational thought. I know I'm going to get in trouble for saying that, . . ."
Awesome! What a great insight--you don't deserve to get in trouble for repeating it. (Though I don't really mind having feelings that do interfere with rational thought . . . it makes life interesting.)
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